Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
