All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
