I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
