This dress was meant to end up on your floor
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
