i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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