I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
