remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
