So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
