yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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