boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
