guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize