found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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