Nicole vs. Life
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
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