i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
