I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
