hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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