I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
