now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
