In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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