I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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