since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
