Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
