I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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