Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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