Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
