ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
