After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
