dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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