it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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