You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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