if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Randomize
