@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
