On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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