I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
