Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
