maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
