I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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