remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
