Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
