Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
