Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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