can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
