I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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