Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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