love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
