Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
