Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Of course I have a pirate flag
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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