My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
