lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
