I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
